pins & needles
I can’t help but sigh when I think about my LSAT score. I’m so done with it. I think my calmness is partly due to the fact that I’ve busied myself these 3 weeks by working out, eating right, oversleeping, shopping, traveling, and preparing all my applications. I figured I might as well use my nervous energy productively by pouring it into my applications. This way, as soon as I see my LSAT score, I can add it to the applications, and off they go.
It’s weird that I’m….not procrastinating with my law school applications. Seriously, if you told me before the LSAT that I would have 20-some applications ready in 3 weeks, I would have given you my best eye roll. Puh-lease, I am the queen of procrastination. I must say, I was really suspicious of the CRS thing but it does make me feel better when I see an email that says “hey, we like you enough to waive your application fee!” Now, if you’re wondering whether I would go to Houston or Tulane just because they gave me a fee waiver… see, I can’t really answer that…yet. I need to see my 3rd score to see how competitive I am.
On the opposite side of calm, my family members are on pins and needles, so maybe on some subconscious level, I’ve been unloading my anxiety onto them (mwhaha that is so evil of me). I’ve had to explain the “official notification date is Oct 26th but they’re usually early” program many times over dinner. They still don’t get it.
And sure, once in a while, I’ll create a mock scenario of a “terrible” score, in which I cry and hurl myself into a self-hating mess. Every so often, I try to imagine the awesome alternative, but I just can’t do it anymore. I’m tired of waiting.