44 days and counting: how times flies when you’re not…studying

Man, I hate that awful, sinking feeling in my gut. Insecure thoughts have been cropping up, with today being the worst bout I’ve had in quite some time. I could do poorly on this LSAT. I may not get into law schools. I may disappoint myself and my family. Etc. etc. etc.

Today it hit me what I need to do differently. I had planned on making Sundays my “rest days” where I would watch TV, see movies, eat junk food, hang out with people, and take a nice break from the LSAT. But then I woke up late on Monday and didn’t feel like doing LSAT work so I poked at it grudgingly, like a kid does with his vegetables.

On Tuesday, my mind was prepared to put in the work, but my heart wasn’t in it. That sinking feeling started around Tuesday. I started lashing out, because I felt guilty and wanted an excuse, any excuse, to get out of doing LSAT work.

Yesterday, I offered to go out and do chores even though I could have easily said sorry no can do, I need to stay in and get some LSAT work done. I also baked and goofed around on the Internet–and here’s the kicker, I started to nullify the pangs of guilt. I kept trying to reason to myself that this was LSAT suicide, but I kept waving them off.

Now, it’s fucking Thursday and suddenly I realized that I’ve allowed 5 days to go by without making any LSAT progress. Sure I’ve reviewed practice tests and done a timed section here and there, but it’s not so much how much I’ve done, but my mental state while doing them. I was just going through the motions and that’s not acceptable, especially when the LSAT is coming so close. So, I will no longer be taking whole days off from the LSAT. I think it’s too risky because it’s unbelievably easy to take the next day off, and the next, and the next…until procrastinating and sub-par LSAT work becomes a habit, not an exception.

Need to get my fucking head back into the game. Good luck to everyone else studying for the LSAT, and I pray you’re doing much better than me!

Here’s my come to Jesus talk….for myself. I may have to eat my own words, but I’m putting this out there because if I don’t do well on the LSAT, I really have nothing else to lose.

LR, you’ve made some great progress but this week, you’ve been dropping the ball. You’re not doing enough. It doesn’t matter if you *think* and *plan* about the LSAT when you KNOW you’re not doing enough. You’re spending your time willy-nilly on the fucking Internet trying to avoid actual hard work. Turn the damn computer off and really concentrate on doing some serious LSAT work. There’s absolutely no point in lurking around LSAT forums, because guess what, the ultimate secret to getting a good LSAT score is this: you reap what you sow. The score you get comes from the amount of time and effort you dedicated to the LSAT. The time and effort cannot be done in clumps, it must be done consistently and daily. Do not become complacent with how much ground you’ve covered. You’ve still got 1.5 months to go and you haven’t reached your goals yet. Stop making excuses for yourself. You know this is important and if it was easy, then it wouldn’t be worth all of this time and effort.

Get to it.