sabotage

My mind keeps wandering when I look at LSAT stuff. I am not mentally exhausted and I’ve spent yesterday and today doing stuff that usually makes me feel better– cook gourmet burgers, watch a scary movie, workout to awesome music, and read trashy blogs.

Yet, every time I sit down to do LSAT drilling, I look for any excuse to avoid it– look at my phone, get something to drink, or eavesdrop on my mom’s Asian dramas.

Problem is, my master schedule doesn’t really leave room for these off-days, so I’m worried that I’m royally screwing myself over by not studying hard when I have all this free time. This will sound childishly stupid to some people, but it’s days like these when I envy others who have real jobs and have other things going on to fill up their days besides studying for the LSAT. It’s hard to be motivated day in and day out about this test, even though I *know* it’s the deciding factor for law school admissions. On the other hand, I know that if I had a real job, it would constantly be my crutch for not getting ahead in my LSAT preparation.

Right now, I have no one to blame but myself if I don’t do well on this third retake.

Truthfully, that frightens me.

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